Numbers, Stress and Anger

Today I really want to talk about Diabetes in depth...what is it?  what does it do to you?  will it ever go away?

Lets begin at the beginning, shall we? For those of you unfamiliar with the disease, there are three different kinds you can "get".  Type 1 is when your Pancreas decides that it doesn't want to produce the insulin you need in your body to allow sugar to get into your cells and produce energy.  This used to be known mainly as Juvenile Diabetes and still is for the most part.  The difference between years ago and now is the amount of "older" kids getting this disease. Type 2 is when your body decides that the insulin you do have is not allowing the sugar into your cells....this can cause something called insulin resistance(which can result in rapid weight gain especially around your organs).  And then we have gestational diabetes, which is, of course, while you are pregnant.  After childbirth, you go back to normal.  However, the percentages of women who had GD and will actually become type 2 is very high.

I started out with PCOS, 10 years later(which amazed the docs) it turned to Type 2 and 2 1/2 years later has become Type 1 AND 2- a double Diabetic.   This is frequently the case with people who have Insulin Resistance and I have heard it often from other Type 2 Diabetics.

Despite all this, I am going to stick to my guns and say "Diabetes does not define me!  and I refuse to let it control me!  I control it"  For those of you who were like me last year; depressed and angry.  Let it go!  It doesn't do any good to stay that way.  Turn that anger and depression into something positive.  I know how hard it can be, especially when your numbers are crazy, your eyesight is wobbly and you can't feel your toes. Find another outlet.  Go for a walk, join a gym, or if it is really a chocolate needing day...eat a small piece of sugar free cake...

Another way you can vent!  Post on my blog, we can talk about it.  Reach out to loved ones, or even go see your doctor and get a therapist suggested.  There are people out there who can help and who understand. You are not alone.

Part 2 of my story

Where did I leave off?  Ah, November of last year.  Well my sugars were consistently in the 225-450 range.  All over the place.  I decided not to go back to the Diabetes Specialist that I was seeing.  She and I did not see eye to eye on things; I didn't feel that she really listened to what I was saying.  Also, in the midst of this, they found that I have a multi-nodular goiter on my thyroid. I did have a biopsy on one of the cysts and it did come up negative, thank heavens.  But I can tell my thyroid has grown even more, my throat is beginning to be more and more irritated. I have read somewhere that problems with your thyroid can lead to high blood sugars also. My numbers have continued to be in the aforementioned range.  Horribly bad.

This past Monday was the final straw.  It was my first visit with my new Endocrinologist.  I went in(my mom was with me) and they weighed me.  I knew that I had dropped some weight after not taking insulin and amaryll. But I was at 422 sugar wise and had ketones in my urine. I was in with the doctor for 5 minutes when he told me to choose which ER I wanted to go to because my sugars were high and he thought I was in Diabetic Ketoacidosis.  Luckily, I wasn't in DKA.  But I am now taking Lantus every evening and Novolog during the day on top of my Metformin.  So far my sugars are staying between 225 and 380 so they have gone down a little bit.  I know that it is an adjustment period right now.  But this is so hard, especially without any insurance. I did sign up for a discount plan but not sure if it is going to work out or not yet.  Won't know til I try to use it when I need a new vial of Lantus. That is where it sits right now.  More later.  :)

Take care all and feel free to share your stories with us.  

Kiki

I was diagnosed a diabetic (type 2) July 2009

Since then, this life has been a roller coaster ride. The first year and a half were okay.  I took my medicine diligently, still read labels and counted grams of sugar.  I was even turned down for a Diabetes study because my A1C level was a 6.9 and it had to be a 7.0!  Go figure.  A month after that my life started to shift. All of the sudden it was out of control- my life and my sugars.  I started having horrible intense indescribable pain in my stomach area. At the time I was in Anatomy & Physiology 1 and all about the case studies.  So I did one on myself and was right, unfortunately; it was Gastroparesis.

Gastroparesis is a fancy word for "hey!  you know your stomach won't empty foods right?" or "it will be a few hours, we are backed up going into your small intestine!".  It is most common with diabetics and is when your Vagus nerve has had too much sugar and stops responding to your bodies commands.

Needless to say, my sugars were way out of wack after that.  I went all the way up to an A1C of 10.4  in 6 months, yes, I said 6 months. After that i spent most of 2011 being sick and having sugars between 300 and 450.  Nothing has been controlling them. I was put on insulin and gained 39 pounds.  Took myself off of it(told the doctor I was doing this against their recommendation) and lost 13 of the pounds already.  I think my insulin resistance has an adverse effect to insulin.

More to come later!

Thanks again for reading,

Kiki


please feel free to share your own stories, that is what this site is for!  

Welcome to my new blog.

I just wanted to say thanks for reading this blog and I would love to hear your stories too.  Please feel free to respond and share with us. It doesn't matter if you are fighting the monster or someone else close to you-family or friend.  It still effects you. Diabetes has a bad habit of making all of us feel like we are alone.  I for one am sick of being controlled by a disease.  I am sick of being looked upon with pity and sadness. I am a fighter and have always have been.  Lets fight this monster together.

With love,

Kiki